I wish I had more of a purpose in life right now. I literally have no purpose other than to work,eat,sleep,shower,go to the gym,oh yeah and be in debt. Really wish I had some great mission. But I don’t. Oh well.
It’s on my left forearm. It’s a note my mom left me the night she died. Here’s a side-by-side shot of the two.
Deserves every note.
I cried and then I reblogged
An accurate depiction of the impact of technology in social circles.
Why was I so stupid when I was younger? Why did I have to buy a car at the age of 18 knowing I would have car payments that I potentially couldn’t afford. Then I proceeded to get credit cards multiple credit cards, with those cards I purchased things that I didn’t have money to pay for I just bought and maxed them out. Then I was stuck with credit card payments on top of a car payment not being able to afford the combination of them. So of course the car payment which is not in my name I have to pay first and credit cards are pushed to the side not paid, and then put into collection because they are passed due making my credit score awful. Now at the age of 23 I’m still learning and paying for my stupid stupid mistakes of wing 18, my parents tried to talk me out of buying the car and tried to tell me to be careful with credit cards. Did I listen you ask? Nope I thought I knew everything of course I did I was 18, now I fucking regret it. Now I’m working 2 jobs to pay off my debt and it’s still not paid off 5 years later and my credit score is still atrocious. Another stupid stupid mistake of my later teen years although I don’t know if this is stupid or my way of dealing with the worst thing that has happened in my life. I went to ccri right out of high school doing pretty well my first year and then fall semester of ‘09 stopped going to class, failed a class, just didn’t want to be there hated it all I wanted to do was work and not be bothered with school I just wanted to keep busy. After that crazy bad semester I continued to register for the spring semester, why? I have no idea I should have just taken time off at that point. But no I continued and signed up for classes I knew I didn’t want to be in and I knew I didn’t want to be there. I think partly I did it for my parents, they really wanted me there so I did it to make them happy. And as the semester started I went the first few weeks and then gave up and stopped going. At this point I had already been on academic probation from the fall semester knowing if I continued to do poorly in the spring I wouldn’t be able to take out a student loan. And so I screwed myself out of that as well. After that semester I just said fuck it and took a few years off because I couldn’t afford the tuition. I have learned a lot from all these mistakes I learned how to better utilize my money I’m still not great but I’m way better than I was, I learned that when I didn’t want to be in school anymore I think I was depressed from the worst day of my life in the summer of ‘09 at the time I didn’t realize but now looking back it makes sense as to why I was so against school and wanted to keep busy instead of being in class not paying attention letting my mind think about bad things. I learned that I should have never bought my car I should have just saved money and bought a car out right. I have also learned that the past is the past and dwelling on it now isn’t going to help me. I know I will get through this tough time and some day I will be able to afford more, right now I can’t afford to do much but I just need to not spend money and keep paying my bills and then in a few years hopefully have a good amount of money in the bank and have a good steady Income maybe enough to buy a house. Not likely but maybe. Ok I’m done sharing for now lmao